i need an iv and a liver transplant
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
