saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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