So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
