You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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