He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
