and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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