yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
