I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This house was built for laser tag.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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