Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
