Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize
