He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
