I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
