Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
