Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
