there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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