So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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