you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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