Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You made out with two different species that night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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