you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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