If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
