I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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