Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
