My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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