Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
