So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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