3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
