How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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