I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
one two three fourrrrnication!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
