He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
