I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
