; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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