Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They took my balls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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