I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize