put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize