I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
