party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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