i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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