I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
