Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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