Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's always time for handjobs
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
