the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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