Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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