My friends, they love my intelligence
from now on my penis is your penis
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
