...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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