My pussy is not your playground.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
