I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
