This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
