Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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