i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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