so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
