Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
