The maid of honor just puked.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
im on a boat
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