my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You need Xanax blowdarts
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
