I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
