They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
