Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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