you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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