why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize