his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
